I Hate Myself

I hate myself.

Yes I said Hate,

I look in the mirror and all I see in my eyes are a pool of pain.

All I see is a big mistake,

All I see is all my imperfections.

I wasn’t always like this,

I remember feeling perfect and beautiful in every single way.

I remember seeing the joy in my eyes.

I remember how badly my face hurt from always smiling,

But now there is no expression on my face,

Because I listened.

I listened to all the cruel words you had to say.

You told me i was ugly, stupid, immature, full of myself, over confident, over dramatic, too skinny, too tall, nothing no one could ever want or ever love,

And I listened and I had every and i mean EVERY single word engraved in my heart.

I looked at myself differently that day,

I lost my smile,

I was no longer confident,

I no longer thought I was beautiful or smart,

And I lost my ability to be happy,

Because I felt the need to listen to your intoxicated self.

I felt the need to play along so you wouldn’t hate me or think of me badly or hurt me.

Yet you did,

You made me feel worthless and unwanted and unloved,

You made me feel anything but perfect,

And now to this day I still feel as if i will never be good enough.

Not good enough for you or

Anyone.

I hate myself.

Phoenix Freedom Writer

What can i say about myself? I'm just trying to find away to let things go, and let my feelings show; Showing your true feelings can be real hard in this world.