decisions

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But too many decisions
And no time to decide
What to do with them
Is building up inside

So I sit here in trouble
And worries filtered above
How do I maintain the guilt
From all the love

With a conscious
And a controlled thought
The toughest thing of all
Is the should and should not

The consequence
From the enduring pain
All wrapped inside
And then left out to drain

If I proceed
Will I decide to quit
Forget everything
And turn around and split

Will I eventually find
What it is that I’m looking for
Will it happen tomorrow
And when will she walk through my door

But how will I know
Just who to choose
I feel this way for both
But neither do I want to lose

Does it make me guilty
Does it make me weak
Because the only thing I really want
Is someone by my side every week

I don’t know
Nor can I even tell
Sometimes I think about heaven
But mostly about hell

Because where do I end up
If I choose the wrong way
Does it just simply turn out
The way I want it to someday

I want the answers
Because I cant settle without
The misery and mystery
That I must find in doubt

Where else can I find
How far I must go
To find the right thoughts
That I need to know

Should I tell them
Or should I overlook the time
Wait for another day
And wait for another find

But how can I do that
How can I just walk away
From the thoughts inside
That I ponder everyday

One should know
And one should be told
That the last thought I had
Was how can I be so bold

To just pick up and leave
Without saying why
Like the life I normally live
Without saying goodbye

But its something I must do
And learn to deal with
The decision to walk away
And let our friendship become a myth

Because if I proceed
Something bad will happen
Just like it always does
Because one won’t be laughing

So is it wise to advance
And let my feelings overcome me
Or should I leave
And wonder what it could be

I just don’t know
Nor can I cope with the stress
Maybe I should give up now
Before this becomes a bigger mess


E.M. Student Poet

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